Thursday, March 22, 2018


 Logan slept for two four hour stretches last night and I woke up feeling amazing.
I decided to pretend I was a hired maid and only do the important thing. I told myself you don't have to pick anything up you just have to vacuum and do the dishes. I just threw all the stuff on the floor on the couches or on the beds and vacuumed everything. It made me feel so good. The boys wanted me to make cookies with them. James was upset because I told Ashton he could help too and I often tell them both that the counter is too small for them both to cook with me. He felt like he was going to be kicked out in exchange for Ashton. I told him I would do my best to make sure they both fit. By the end, they seemed to both be having a good time. They were both covered in chocolate. Notice they are both in their pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon. We are winning some battles and loosing others but I think the important ones we are winning. 

I have felt so blessed this last week. Ashton has become fully potty trained. I felt like that battle was going to last forever. Sierra started doing more self-care this week. She has been doing her hair and make-up and taking showers... what? For a long time those things have not been important to her. I thought that battle was going to last forever too. Logan has started sleeping more, which is huge! I am going to enjoy this moment of reprieve. 


Monday, March 19, 2018






 Spring break started on Friday. We loaded up all day and then around 4:00 headed to my in-laws home. I always feel like I am running in slow motion when I prepare for a trip. I always forget half the things I need but some how it always seems to work out. My girls loved staying with their grandparents. My mother-in-law kept them well entertained. They did crafts and played games. Caleb and Sierra discovered they both love star wars and watched the first episode together. They had a lot of fun. Sierra asked if we could buy Chinese checkers, because she fell in love with the game at grandmas. 

Sunday, March 4, 2018


 Logan loves Sierra. She loves him. Although, she may deny it all day long. The minute she picks him up he falls asleep. She'll cuddles him for hours, which really messes up his routine but is so sweet to watch. 

Thursday, March 1, 2018


There are some days when this all I get done, which is just fine with me. 

Monday, February 26, 2018


 I don't think we have gotten out of our pajamas since Logan was born. My boys and I are just surviving. I have bathed my boys only once a week. I have counted it winning to just keep the kitchen clean and the laundry done. Yesterday, I smelt so bad I couldn't even stand to be near myself. I let the baby scream while I took a two minute shower.  I am surviving on two to four hours of sleep at night and then I have to be up at 6:00 to see Sierra off to school. Lately, I am not sure why, but the boys have been waking up at 5:30. I have hurt their feelings several time by telling them to go back to bed. I wish anyone in the house valued sleep the way I do. I am certain within a month I will have Logan on a better sleeping schedule and everything will calm down, but right now, with him being less than a month old, we are just in survival mode.  

Friday, February 23, 2018


 Madison loves her little brother Logan and is always so concerned when he cries or fusses. She is always more than willing to hold him but it rarely comforts him. It is often when all of the demands of the day are hitting at the same time and Logan starts to fuss that she brings him to me. I often tell her, "I don't care that he is fussing in this moment. Right now, I have to get dinner out of the oven. Please go and put him down." It really stresses me out but it comes from a place of genuine love and concern for her baby brother. 

Wednesday, February 21, 2018


 I set up Logan's room in a place where no one has spent time since we remolded this house, the office. There is no door on the office it kind of bleeds into the living room and kitchen but it is a little more secluded and I only needed a crib and a recliner. My boys have been so fascinated by nursing they won't leave this corner of the house now. James has set up his Duplos on the office desk and he lives there. I am glad he spends all day playing Duplos instead of watching television. I don't feel like a total failure as a mother as I navigate this new little one. He will spend the whole day rearranging Duplos. He only stops occasionally to come and kiss Logan's head. Usually when I am in the middle of nursing him. I have told him a million times he isn't allowed to kiss Logan while he is nursing but he doesn't seem to want to listen. I know all those "normalizing breastfeeding" people won't understand but while I nurse I don't like my five year old's head nuzzled on my newborns head. Call me crazy! I am grateful though for the sweet relationship and love these two boys have with their new brother. I haven't noticed any jealousy, just love. Ashton cares a lot less than James but he has always been very gentle with Logan.