I have never had a baby and said, "I never want to do that again!" However that is exactly how I felt after having Logan. It was the most difficult birth emotionally and maybe even physically I have had. I was so nervous that whole pregnancy that I wouldn't make it to the hospital. However, I shouldn't have been I made it to the hospital just fine. My first real contractions were actual labor, which was very different from Ashton. I started having real contractions on Thursday night. I was scheduled to be induced Friday morning. I called my friend Leslie, she came and picked me up and we went to the hospital. I was only dilated to a three when I arrived. I went and walked around the hospital. I started coughing from the walk. I still had influenza B. I would have a coughing fit and sit down. Then I would start walking again once I got it under control. When the midwife showed up at 9:00am, I was dilated to a five.
I think I could have let labor progress on it's own and I would have had him a few hours later but I was so scared. I was scared I would start contracting hard and I wouldn't be able to breath through the contractions without having a major coughing fit. I called for an epidural. I don't know why but the anesthesiologist poked me several times to get my epidural it was the most complicated epidural I have ever had but it worked perfectly after a bit of tweaking. They gave me too much and I kept passing out. She put me on the lowest dosage she could, and joked that with it that low she didn't know why I was having an epidural. I told her I just wanted it to take the edge off and she said, "Well that is all it is going to do." I got to sleep for an hour. I hadn't slept for a solid week, so it felt nice to sleep.
(When I contracted Influenza B, the doctor prescribed Tamiflu. Nate paid $150 dollars for the prescription, because we don't have insurance. I think it was a combination of my fear of giving birth with the flu and the cost of the prescription that caused me to take it. Normally, I avoid prescription drugs like the plague. It caused me to have severe insomnia. I didn't sleep for five days straight. I finally threw the medicine away and didn't finish taking it. I threw it away two days before I gave birth. Even though I threw it away it took a day to get out of my system and then I was up all night with contractions. I was so tired.)
The midwife came in around noon to check on me and I had stopped progressing. They gave me a bit of pitocin. I was dilated to a six or a seven. The midwife left the room for about five minutes and I turned to the nurse and said, "I feel like I got to poop." She ran to get the midwife and she came back in and said, "I can't believe it within a few minutes you are now fully dilated and fully effaced." It was so painfully pushing Logan out. Usually pushing is so easy for me, he was sunny side up and slightly sideways. My midwife kept encouraging me to lay on my side and push, but logically that made no sense to me. I didn't think it would be easier. I ignored her until the pain was more than I could bare and finally I rolled over and after a few good pushes and a few good prayers, he was out.
Side Note: Because I was coughing so badly, the midwife wanted me checked for Influenza B. When the test came back positive the pediatric nurse came into my room and said, "Here is the plan, you can't breath on this baby when he is born. We are going to take him away to the nursery the minute he is born and you will have to pump your milk and and we will have to bottle feed him. He cannot be exposed." I said, "That isn't going to happen." She said, "Well then we will have to have your room completely scrubbed down. We will have to give you a sponge bath and no one is allowed in or out of this room without a mask on." I agreed. I thought she was crazy but I agreed because I didn't want them taking my baby away. I had to give birth with a face mask. I had to wear one the whole time I was in the hospital. After I gave birth by that evening I was tired of the hospital and every person in it. I asked if I could just check out of the hospital. They said it was fine and they started the paperwork. Then they came back in and said that crazy pediatric nurse said if I left the hospital she would make the nurse call CPS. Yes, child protective services! I ended staying my stupid long twenty-four hours and then I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I hate hospitals and I will never give birth in one again. Mostly because I am done having a babies.... unless I am not and if I am not I will have my next baby in a birthing center.
I had the craziest nurse. She had been in the USA for six months. She was from the Philippines. Her name was Rose. She poked me several times to get my IV in for my epidural. I have the best veins ever and no one has ever had to poke me more than once. I have giving blood for years. She kept petting me through the whole process. She would ask me if I wanted something and I would tell her no and then she would tell me all the reasons why I had to have it until she exhausted me into just doing what she wanted. I was very happy to leave Rose at the hospital.
Lastly, but most importantly, Leslie came with me to the hospital and helped me give birth. She ran and got me food and arranged my pillows and took care of Logan. She changed all of his diapers. She held him while I slept. She even held one of my legs while I was trying to push him out. She was a saint. Don't tell Nate this, but in that situation I would take her over him any day.
