FRIENDS

I am glad these two have each other although Natalie is two years younger than Sierra but they are like two peas in a pod.

Today while cleaning the kitchen Madison was telling me, "You know mom sometimes I get really mad at school, and I could lose my temper but I don't, I just push it down." 

"Really sweat pea, what happens at school that makes you want to really lose your temper?"

"Like there is a boy there who says, I will marry you and it doesn't matter what you say. When we are getting married, even if you say no, we will still be married." It makes me so mad mom, but I just don't lose my temper.

"Good job. What is this boy's name?"

"I don't remember."

Poor kid.

Today I got to go to church with her Leslie and her sister Stephanie. I was so happy sitting there with them. It was sweet of Nate to tackle the children alone. When I say alone I mean with the help of some sweet sisters who also sacrificed to help him out.

Leslie told me once again she was only going to go to sacrament meeting. I was a little frustrated but this is her journey. I was thinking about how to help make her other meetings a priority. I thought to promise her that if she attended all three hours that she would be blessed.

She would be able to build relationships with members of the ward and make true friends. She would literally be able to call these people her brothers and sisters.

She would gain increased spiritual knowledge.

Even though she would be spending time away from Simon, their marriage would be strengthened and the time they spent together would be happier.

She decided to attend all three hours on her own. I made her those promises anyway. 

She loved every meeting we attended together. Her sister read this quote during Relief Society. April General Conference 2016. Elder Jeffery R. Holland. 

First of all, if in the days ahead you not only see limitations in those around you but also find elements in your own life that don’t yet measure up to the messages you have heard this weekend, please don’t be cast down in spirit and don’t give up. The gospel, the Church, and these wonderful semiannual gatherings are intended to give hope and inspiration. They are not intended to discourage you. Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference are depressing and unrealistic, that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable too. Well, don’t fall for that. With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed. 

She couldn't even get through it. The spirit filled her. I am very much convinced she had her moment too. Leslie drug her feet until we had this meeting with the missionaries where the spirit was so strong she could no longer deny that this truly is the Church of Jesus Christ. Leslie's testimony has become a ripple in a pond. Leslie will affect numberless people with her decision to receive light and continue in that light.

MY BOYS

 James was such a sweet brother today he took Ashton by the hand and literally pulled him up to the top of the playground at Chick-fil-A. He said, "I will help you Ash-on!" He did all the way to the top. They are the best of friends. James is always translating for Ashton and telling me what he said. He is starting to repeat words. James was talking about his cousin Charlotte, none stop this afternoon and Ashton said Charlotte over and over again, but refused to when we tried to call Jennifer. They are a handful but the cutest.

SEE YOU LATER MADISON!

I love my mornings. I love that my sweet daughters wake up at different times and getting to enjoy the morning with each of them individually. I get to talk about the scriptures with them and I get to pray over them individually. I love it. This morning I opened up Madison's Book of Mormon reader and asked her if she would like to read the story about Joseph Smith. She said, "Oh, I already know that one mom." She continued to tell me almost word for word what her reader says about the prophet Joseph Smith. She even quoted the scripture in James. I then asked her what can we learn from this story? She said, "To pray when we need help." 

She told me about a week ago that she tries really hard to pray over her food when she goes to lunch, but sometimes she forgets because it is so loud and busy in the cafeteria. My instant reaction is to tell her we don't typically pray in public, especially in crowds of people. We just say a prayer in our heart. Then my second reaction was wouldn't the whole school be a better place if they watched as this innocent little girl expressed thanks and evoked a bless from her maker in the school cafeteria every day. I told her that she was sweet to remember to pray. She amazes me. I am grateful for her strength of character and her love of the scriptures. 

KAZOO

James playing the kazoo we made together.

 Last night I went to bed early and it felt good. Going to bed late and getting up way too early is rough. I had all the lights out and all the babies in bed by seven thirty and that is a good night. James did sneak downstairs thrice to ask me to tuckle him in. He combines the word tuck and tickle and I think it is adorable but by the third time it wasn't cute anymore.  Nate was out with Sierra, he said he was going to take her on a daddy daughter date. I don't know where they went or what they did because I was asleep when they got home. I did wake up to a Slurpee on the counter. The boys and I read together this morning. We read a Mickey Mouse Science story. The book talked of making kazoos out of toilet paper rolls and wax paper and of course we had to make some. 

Ashton wanting to be held my mommy.

I love when this boy pulls on my legs and lifts up one foot and whimpers. Do you want me to pick you up Asha Maxerwells?

GOOD MORNING with the CHICKENS

Feeding the chickens watermelon left over from Dad's party.

Getting caught in the sprinklers.

Making sure each chicken gets a piece.

Watching Daddy leave for work.

Waving at daddy as he leaves for work.

Smiling because he waved back.

She is sick. Fever. Headache. 

A THEME for the YEAR

They say you can clean small spaces more quickly than large spaces, but they also become messy faster. I am working on figuring it out. I still love my home so much.

I may have mentioned that our family theme this school year is "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind."

Today I was over at Leslie's for her final discussion. She was supposed to be baptized on the 3rd of September but she drank at her nephews birthday party, so they have to push her baptismal date out a week. 

When she was telling Sister Uhri, tears started to stream down Sister Uhri's face. She had a very serious look on her face, but it was a look of love. She said, "It is going to break my heart to tell you that you must be clean for two weeks." The tears continued to roll down her cheeks. It broke Leslie's heart. She started to cry to. It was such a beautiful exchange of love and rebuke. The spirit was full in the room and I couldn't help but think of Jesus Christ and all he has done for me and how it would break my heart to hear him say, "It is going to break my heart to tell you this but you must be clean." 

Leslie will be fine. She will repent and move forward. This will not discourage her, it will encourage her to be better. I am grateful for that.

However, the lesson we both learned tonight will stay with us forever. 

I am thankful for all I get to learn by being apart of her journey. 

Leslie, Heavenly Father has not given you a spirit of fear. You can do this. You have the power to do this.  Love - Me.

HAPPY SUNDAY

Ashton feeding chicken in his diaper.

 We woke up this morning and had banana nut pancakes. The boys didn't finish theirs so I told them to go feed them to the chickens. Ashton loved it. He got a little too excited and started to wack the chickens on the head with the bowl. I told him no and brought him inside. He wasn't happy about that. 

He has been sick for so long I forgot how much personality he has. He is saying words. I love this age of repeating everything anyone says and growing verbally. It fills me with joy. He will grab his diaper and say, pooh. He will say, BA, for bottle. He says, trash every time I get through changing his diaper and insists he needs to put it in the trash. He loves putting the dishes away. When I leave the dishwasher open, he will just start opening drawers and throwing dishes in various drawers. I will find the strangest things in the strangest places. He is so proud of himself, it is hard to care too much. He loves being outside. The minute the door opens he runs full speed for it. If you shut the door and say, we aren't going outside right now, he melts into a puddle of sad. The other day he insisted he can wear underwear like his brother. He put a pair of his underwear on and absolutely lost it when I took it off. He finally stopped yelling when I put underwear over top his diaper. He brings so much light into our home. I love him so much.

Madison and James ready for church.

James loves church and he can never leave with a vest and a tie. He hops around so excited to go. Ashton the minute he is dressed cries until we leave. He wants to go the minute his clothes are on. Luckily, today, he took a quick nap before we left, which made church more bearable. 

Sierra lately has become our hardest child at church. (Any suggestions are welcome.) I know sitting still is hard for her and being bored is hard for her. I don't know what to do about it. She was tormenting her siblings with every item in her scripture bag. Then I literally picked her up and moved her between her father and I, but she was fighting me. Yes, I was wrestling my child during church. I was talking to this couple, that attends our ward, later in the evening about it and he humbled me. He said, "No one notices when your children misbehave, but they do notice when you get angry and lose the spirit." I know he is right. I felt like I remained calm through most of it but maybe wrestling my daughter wasn't the best idea. I will try to be better and more creative and pray to figure out how to get her through church without it being too hard on both of us.

YES DENTAL PARTY!

I didn't get any good pictures of the party. This was near the end when we had started cleaning up. There was more food than we could have brought home. I started handing out ziplock bags and begging people to take home food. They were easily persuaded and I was glad. They loved every bite. My whole body hurts now. I literally have been going since yesterday at 10:00 am. I went to sleep for four hours and got up and kept going. I don't no why when I cook for fifty I think I am cooking for two hundred. I know the last twenty four hours I have had strength beyond my own and I am grateful. I said a really heartfelt prayer this morning.

'When Nate's employees thanked me I kept saying, "You work for us all year long the least I can do is spend a few days cooking for you." I mean it. I am grateful for them. I hope they felt that.  

PREPPING for a PARTY

I was so grateful that today my friend Leslie and her friend Grace came and helped me shop for Nate's company party. We had to drive two Sam's club carts around the store to get everything that we needed, I was exhausted by the time we were done. I think sitting down to write this post is the first time I have sat down all day. 

James, as we were driving around today said, "Mom, when I grow big I am going to have baby in my tummy too." I said, "To have a baby grow inside you is one of the greatest gifts Heavenly Father has given girls, but boy's don't get to grow baby's inside them. However, if they choose the right then they get to hold the Priesthood. The power to act in God's name here on earth." I know it was too much for a three year old to digest. His response was, "Priesthood means getting to grow a baby inside your tummy, right?" No. 

But he taught me so much....I loved how sweet he was and how much he knows even at such a young age how precious and beautiful it is to carry life in your own body. Nate will never experience that, carrying life and giving birth. I know he is fine with it, but there are sensitive men out there like James who probably wish they could. However, it just wasn't God's plan for men. Motherhood was Heavenly Father's gift to women from birth. Ever woman regardless of her choices and standing before Heavenly Father has the ability to bear children, baring infertility. The Priesthood is a gift given on earth when you are much more grown, 12 to be exact, you have to earn the right to receive it. 

We are blessed as woman, never doubt it. From the mouth of babes!

READING in the MORNING

My little one has been reading to me every morning before school instead of at night and I love it. I have to wake up at six o'clock to get Sierra off to school on time. I should really be getting her up at 5:30, but neither one of us can do it. Lately, we haven't gotten up until 6:15 and the bus comes at 6:30. It's a joke. It always takes so much energy and noise to get her out the door that fast, that the whole house is woken in the processes. What else are we going to do at 6:30 with the whole house awake, besides watch television and I thought our time would be better spent reading. I love that she has embraces most of my ideas. 

MY BABY

He hasn't been sleeping for so long. Nate hasn't gotten any sleep. He has been really cranky. I volunteered to sleep in a futon with Ashton until he figures things out. He has been so ornery. I took him off of milk and that didn't work. I took him to the chiropractor and that didn't work. I rubbed him in oils. I put a humidifier in his room. I massaged his legs at night. I did everything I could think of but nothing helped. He is finally sleeping better for some unknown reason and I am so happy. I am not off of the Futon yet, but look at those eyes. It isn't a hard sacrifice.  

LESLIE's STORY

 I have been so blessed to be apart of Leslie's journey. We meet at Loma Elementary. I was dropping off Madison at Kindergarten and Leslie was dropping off Kaylie. Kaylie was so nervous. Madison was so confident. She took Kaylie by the hand and walked her into Kindergarten. Her sweet act of kindness sealed Leslie and I's friendship. 

Leslie picked up Madison and took her to school every day for two months while I recovered from having Ashton. I baked her bread.

Once I stopped by her house on my way into town and I saw a bible on her table and I picked it up. She said, "You know Lisa, I want to know truth but I don't know where to find it."

I was really nervous about taking the missionaries over there the first time. I kind of scheduled it without telling Leslie. I called her before we headed over and I told her I was bringing the sisters with me.

I know I caught her off guard but she was okay. Four months have passed since that first visit and at times I have wondered whether she would ever be strong enough to commit to any of what we were asking her to do. It was a lot and Mormon is a huge word. There was a moment when she just knew all the sisters were teaching her was true. I have been in awe at the absolute pure faith she has shown since the moment when she knew. She always says, "You had me at the planets." The sisters had planned to give her the lesson on the plan of salvation. She had been at a conference in Denver the weekend before and had heard something that weren't true. They had been on her mind and when she asked the question the sisters were prepared to answer. It was a direct message from her Heavenly Father that he cared about her and this small concern. She wept through the whole discussion.

She is scheduled to be baptized on the 3rd of September.

I was listening to NPR on the way to Utah to a show called this American Life. There was a story told about a life guard that was 66. He wanted to keep life guarding. He was a New York lawyer. He life guarded on the weekend. His name was Roy and he life guarded on Jones Beach. The interviewer asked him, "Why do you want to continue to life guard?" He said, "There is a thrill in the rescue that you can't feel any other way." I loved what he said because being apart of Leslie's journey has brought me so much joy. I didn't think it was possible for the human body to feel this much joy. 

GRANDMA and GRANDPA's 65 ANNIVERSARY

I got no pictures of the grandma and grandpa. I am so sad about it. I will have to have someone pull on of my cousin's pictures of them off of facebook for me or something. 

Ashton has been so difficult lately, I think it is because of all the traveling we did this summer, especially in July. He hasn't slept. He has been so fussy. Nate and I haven't slept through the night, in I can't tell you how long. I didn't really want to make the trip to my grandparent's anniversary party. I told everyone I wasn't coming. I was sad. I really wanted to be there. I love my grandparents. Miraculously, everyone slept through the night Friday, I woke up Saturday wanting to go. I packed up the boys, I left the girls with Nate, and I drove to Utah. I got there in record time. I didn't realize how much harder it is to travel with four.

I went and got my grandma's and took her shopping for a dress for her party. It was the most fun I have had in a long time. I know she felt pretty at her party. The whole evening was amazing. It was like the high school reunion you want to attend. I got to see all my cousins. I haven't seen some of them in ten years. They are all so beautiful and have grown so well.  

I did look like stitch face because of my moles being removed. My uncle thought I had cancer. I said, "No uncle, just vanity." My brother-in-law asked me what happened and told him this elaborate story about a cow falling off of a truck and landing on my windowsill and pieces of glass flying into my face. He was like, "Are you kidding?" I said, "Yes, I just had some moles removed. 

I loved visiting with my cousins Jason and Charity. They have both grown up so much. I look at them now and I think how did we all grow so much. They are truly beautiful people.

 I think James had about ten mash-mellows on a stick.

JUST the BOY's and I chasin' GEESE

Well, the girls are both in school all day and it is just me and boys and ten chickens and two turkeys and two geese all day. I hate the geese because they pick on my boys. I am grateful for the geese because they pick on my boys. I give them sticks and tell them to chase them. Don't worry they will never hit the geese, they are too fast but it teaches the geese the boys are in charge. They have picked on James unrelentingly since they came onto the property but they have never touched Ashton, until yesterday. They just walked up to Ashton and bit him. I picked up the lawn chair and chucked it at them. Don't touch my boys. I told Nate I am done with geese, find them a new home. 

FIRST DAY of JUNIOR HIGH

I thought this day would never come. I can't believe it is here. She was so excited about picking out all her school supplies. She was so excited about getting her locker. She loves her locker. She is in Band playing the flute. She is also taking Art. Then she has four core classes and homeroom class. She loves it. She says she doesn't really have any friends yet but she doesn't care. I pray she can find some good friends. I and some other women in the stake are plotting. She is confident and bold and I tell her every morning to go and be a light in this world. 

We picked a scripture for the school year and I ask the girls to say it before they leave for school, when I can remember to. It states, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

MOLE REMOVAL

I have wanted to for years, but maybe it was my dad's comment about how they would only get bigger and uglier with age that tipped me over the edge and made me do something about it. I had twelve moles removed off my face. I walked around like Frankenstein for a week. 

I had to take Sierra to Junior High orientation after surgery. Don't worry, parents weren't allowed to go with by mandate of the school. I was driving her there and I felt fine. She kept saying how bad I looked. I told her,"Of course I look bad they took a knife and cut out each of my moles and then they stitched them close with a needle that looked like a fish hook."

 She turned green said she was going to throw up. I thought, "Why is she sick?" Then I thought I can't make her go what if he throws up in the gym during orientation that would be an embarrassing start to middle school. Then she grabbed my arm and said the world was spinning and going dark. Then she passed out. 

Yep, I looked that bad. I feel bad about going into detail about how the surgery happened but this is my kid that nursed chickens back to health with their skull exposed. I didn't know she couldn't take the mole story. 

MADISON, 2ND GRADE REGISTRATION

Madison is starting 2nd grade. She is also going to go to school all alone for the next two years. I was so worried about sending her alone. She wasn't. I think she likes it. She woke up the first day and headed to the bus stop alone like it was no big thing. She likes her teacher Mrs. Martinez. She said read them a story about a child who found comfort in a rock. She let them all pick a rock at recess to keep in their desk, so if they get scared or sad they can rub it between their fingers. She said, "But I won't get scared or sad, because I never do at school."

 This is my friend Leslie. Her daughter is also in Madison's class. We are both excited for this school year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIERRA, 11!

I can't believe she is 11. I don't even think of her as 11, I think of her as 11 going on 16. She is so grown up in so many ways. She responsible. She is my best babysitter. She watches the children and changes their diapers and feeds them. I can't wait till she is 13, because then I can pay her to babysit my children when Nate and I go on dates.

She is beautiful. She is kind. She is responsible. She loves animals, especially horses. She has a strong desire to be good. I remember a conversation with her earlier this year about teasing her siblings. I hate it when she teases them. I have asked her repeatedly not to. Her punishment for teasing is pulling weeds. One day when I had enough of her teasing I lost it with her. She started to cry and she said, "I pray continually for Heavenly Father to help me not tease. I don't want to tease. I just have done it so much I can't stop. I have prayed and prayed and I can't stop. She started crying uncontrollably. My heart felt for her. I was reminded of all the silly sins I commit over and over again and which seem impossible to overcome. She is so sweet to rely on her Heavenly Father.

She bore her testimony last fast Sunday about the important's of following those who are older and wiser than us. She told her story of her ducklings not listening to her. I don't think there was a dry eye in the entire congregation. I looked over at my friend Leslie, who has been taking the discussions for six months. She was crying too.

She has become a new person since we moved onto this farm. I know we moved her for her. She has become more at peace and more happy. She was meant to live in the country. Her heart is here.

She got a paddle board for her birthday. Her dad took the whole family down the Colorado river while she rode on her paddle board. She loved every minute of it. She was a little unsure in the beginning where you get in the water is swift and runs against some piers. She was nervous but once we were past the piers she was fearless and don't worry the part of the Colorado we go on is like a lazy river. I wish I had pictures. I was too nervous to take my camera and I have regretted it ever since.  

GRANDPA, GRANDMA, AND AUNT JENNY CAME TO VISIT

We got to spend more time with grandpa than anyone because Aunt Jenny had to get her teeth worked on and grandma went with her. We sure enjoyed our time with him. The boys loved playing play dough with his head. :)

BIRDS NEST

 We discover so many marvelous thing on the farm. James brought me this birds nest. It had blown out of the tree. The egg was hollow. It was so beautiful. We talked about what great builders birds are and we spent a while inspecting the little nest. We like birds spend much of our life building homes and raising our young. There really isn't much else the animal kingdom devotes its time too besides survival. 

VERNAL TEMPLE

Nate invited us to take a quick trip to the Vernal Temple. I was so excited to go to the temple as a family. It was our first time all going together. When we woke up the morning Vernal was having a 4th of July parade. There were tractors in the parade. It made my heart happy. We took the kids to the Dinosaur National Park in Vernal. We have never been and we were all really excited. The boys were crazy. The ran all over the place and tried to touch and climb on everything. Nate's back was out so he was little help. I think we will go back someday when the boys are little bit bigger.

THE RANCH

 Well, I drove to the ranch alone, again. I am grateful Emma was there to help me load the car. She was ready and willing to go. We had a really great drive and an amazing visit.

The boy's loved riding on the four wheeler's and the lawnmower train. They got so excited when anyone was willing to take them. Thankfully grandma took them on many rides. Once my brother Phillip was taking his son Ryder on a four wheeler and James wanted to go. He said, "Not this time." He just wanted to be alone with his son, which is so sweet. However, James couldn't understand why he couldn't go too. I explained that sometimes daddies want to be alone with their boys. James, with his Bambi eyes said, "I don't got my dad." He cried. It broke my heart in two pieces. We do the ranch every year without dad because he is always working and I have tried to be understanding, but never again.

The kids favorite thing this year was floating the Sevier River. We also ate good food and talked and loved sweet baby Giselle.