ASHTON

He is such a sweet boy and he has been on such a good schedule.

He has a doctors appointment tomorrow and I am nervous he is going to be the sweet baby he has been. I am praying for a miracle.

He sleeps well, poops well, and eats well

There isn't much more you can ask for from a baby at this age.

I love this sweet little baby.

 



TWO MAGICAL YEARS

I love my little James.

He turned two on Sunday.

I was talking to my friends weeks earlier and they asked what I was most worried about in the coming weeks.

I said, "I know it is silly but James's Birthday."

I usually am in charge of birthdays.

I hadn't had energy or motivation to do anything.

My friend Lori said, "I love making cakes let me make him a cake."

Then as the day drew nearer she said, "Do you believe in recycled gifts?"

I told her I loved recycled gifts.

She said she was getting rid of some toys her kids had out grown and she would wrap them and bring them over.

Then she asked if she could make dinner. She made the most incredible dinner.

Alfredo, garlic bread, and salad.

The portions were massive.

The food was delicious.

She gave James the most perfect gifts.

He loved them all.

Especially the puzzles she gave him.

 

Meanwhile.... 

 I once again under estimated my husband.

I mentioned James birthday.

He bought balloons, streamers, and other party paraphernalia.

He bought a cake mix and candles.

He made James an amazing cake.

He bought him one present, pictured above.

James loved it.

He played with it all day.

So, we had two great parties for our sweet James.

 

 

James is at my favorite age.

He is full of personality.

He loves to say things are hot.

He has a great imagination.

He would cook for me all day long and he will say, "Hot. Hot. Hot," as he hands me a pretend cookie or a soup he has made.

He uses the word caca a lot. He thinks it means gross.

He also loves all potty words.

He is afraid of the vacuum, the wheat grinder and the wind that blows under the door of our basement apartment.

He has the cutest giggle.

He loves his daddy more than anything and gets so excited when he comes home.

The only child that we have had that runs to his father when he walks in the door.

Nate loves it.

Nate is the only one that can get his son to bed at night.

He loves his daddy.



BROTHER LOVE

Everyone has been asking how James is adjusting to his new brother.

He loves him.

He is jealous of him.

I guess that sums it up.

He whines after me when I am holding Ashton and says, "Hold. hold."

He wants me to hold him.

Sometimes he cries.

I am pretty sure I have two babies, especially when James sucks on his binky and hauls around his blankie.

We will survive.

I have never had two children so close together and I am sure it will be a challenge but I love that they are brothers. I love that they have each other.

 

 

 



HAPPY BOY

 He had a staring contest with grandma today.

I love him.

Look at his beautiful eyes.

She won't leave him alone she wants to hold him every minute.

SQUAWK

 The hours between colostrum and true milk seemed like an eternity to this little one.

He was not happy.

He screamed.

It wasn't exactly a scream it was more like a squawk!

It was bad.

Nate wished himself deaf.

I think the rest of us felt the same.

He is happier now.

Thankfully.

ASHTON MAXWELL MCKNIGHT

 

I woke up on the morning of the 13th at around 1:15. I felt a little pop. I can't really describe it nor can I explain why, I just know it woke me up.

Then I had a contraction shortly after.

I hadn't had a contraction all night and had slept well.

I thought I would draw a bath and sit in the bath until I felt my next few contractions and just see whether this was real labor.

While I was running the water I had a strong impression, I felt the spirit say, "Go to the hospital."

I had another contraction that was a little painful.

I went and told woke up Nate. I said, "I am going to go to the hospital."

I don't know if I am in labor. I have had a few contractions. I will call my friend Lily to come over and be with the kids and I will call you when they admit me to the hospital.

He said, "Okay."

I gathered my things and left.

Luckily, it was warm outside. It was like a spring day in the middle of winter.

On the way to the hospital my contraction started to pick up and they were about five minutes apart.

I was scared.

My only thought was hurry and get to the hospital, so you don't have to have that baby naturally.

 

I thought, I'll wait till they give me my epidural to call Nate.

When I got to the hospital I parked on the wrong side.

The hospital was locked up.

I kept thinking I would find an open door but I saw no one.

I finally found my way to the emergency entrance about a half a block away.

I was relieved.

My contractions were really picking up.

The guy at the front desk said he would take me up to labor and delivery by wheel chair.

 

I had made it.

I was being admitted.

I called Lily at 2:25 and told her I had been admitted and to send Nate to the hospital.

They took me into a room to check me.

I was dilated to an eight.

They had me walk to the delivery room a few doors away.

I stood at the bed as they monitored the baby.

My water broke.

I was so mad!

 

I ripped the monitor off. My contractions were coming hard and fast and it felt restricting.

I said, "I am not going to get that epidural!"

The nurse said, "No, honey."

I said, "Then please draw me a bath."

I heard the water running.

Then the midwife walked the door and said, "Why is the water running? She isn't going to have time for that?"

Ahhhhhhh!

The nurse said, "Background noise, we thought it would help calm her."

What?

No! If I wasn't going to have an epidural I was going to at least have a relaxing water birth!

Neither?

Great!

At that point my contractions were on top of each other. I just started screaming.

Screaming like a crazy Amazon woman.

I was so mad this was happening again.

This wasn't suppose to happen again.

I was alone.

Nate wasn't even going to make it.

I just screamed.

The midwife on call said, "Lisa, calm down, screaming is not going to help."

I didn't care.

I hate natural child birth.

I screamed.

My midwife Tiffany showed up.

She didn't tell me to stop screaming but she told me to focus my energy on pushing.

A few pushes later and he was out.

I had him at 2:59.

I never want to do that again.

Natural childbirth.

I will take a million more Ashton's if I can.

 

Nate walked in after it was all over.

I was cleaned up in a dim room holding Ashton.

Waiting to be wheeled down to recovery.

 

I handed him his baby boy.

He held him for an hour.

He just stared at him.

 

I said, "I guess the only thing we have left to do is give him a name."

He suggested Ashton, after Ashton, Idaho. You will have to ask him why.

I am sure it has something to do with fishing.

I said, "I like Ashton."

I had been calling him Maxwell or Baby Max for a long time.

I thought it was going to be his name.

We usually do a living relative as his middle name but this time I decided since Maxwell was trumped, we would give it to him as his middle name.

 

He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces.

His height 20 1/2 inches long.

 There is nothing more precious, no moment more perfect than holding your newborn in the hospital after birth.

He was so precious and perfect.

I have never given birth to a child with so much hair.

I think he has more hair than James has right now.

He looks so different from my other kids but there are similarities.

Like he has Sierra's chin.

He has a tiny nose like Madison, but it is scrunched up a unique Ashton way.

He pulls James faces all the time.

His skin is as so soft. I just want to cuddle him forever.

He is beautiful, every inch of him is loved.

I would do it all again.

Yes, even natural child birth, for him.

 

SPRING in WINTER

 Nate was off spoiling us again.

He bought a double jogger for the boys for Christmas.

It finally arrived a few days ago.

James loves it.

 

I sent him on a daddy daughter date with Madison and she came home with a bike.

She has never owned a bike of her own.

I suggested we think about buying her one for Christmas but we didn't.

He decided it was time a few weeks after Christmas.

She was so happy.

When I take the boys out she will need to get out too and she can't ride her Diego bike forever.

Her knees hit the handle bars.

 

We took them out for a ride today.

It felt like spring in the middle of winter.

She was so happy.

 

So, we just wait for the other half of the stroller to be filled.

MY BABIES

We have had a fun week. My brother Phillip came into town.

It was so nice to see him and visit with his sweet wife.

He finished up our sheet rock and got a myriad of other things done in preparation for my dad coming to tape and texture the walls.

We are getting closer because of him.

Thank you Phillip you are an angel.

 

Visiting with Katrina and spending time with cousins helped the week go by a little more quickly.

Anyone in their final week of pregnancy knows that is a blessing in and of itself.

We are inching past both of my supposed due dates, but that is typical of these pregnancies of mine.

The baby was doing P90X inside me last night, I swear.

Although I love the comfort of knowing he is still alive, I could have used a little sleep.

 

All these moments will prepare me for being up all night again with a newborn.

 

James let me rock him to sleep yesterday for his nap.

I thought it was the sweetest thing.

I thought this might be the last moment to get a picture of him and his brother together like this, so I asked Madison to take a picture.

She was so sweet to humor me.

Then she took pictures of every random thing in the house.

ELECTRIC GUITAR

 She finally got to play with her Christmas present.

She hasn't been interested in taking it back.

It was missing pieces when we opened it.

Today we took it back.

She has done nothing but strum on it all evening.

I told her if I get her lessons she isn't allowed to join a rock band or play rock music.

She said, "Then why did you buy me an electric guitar?"

I told her, "I didn't buy you an electric guitar sweet girlie that was your father."

She is excited to learn how to really play it.

 Madison was playing with her bug again all morning.

Maybe these daddy gifts are a good thing he makes them get outside my box.

We took the tree down today!

Let 2015 begin.

I have to say Sierra will grow up being quite the eclectic individual if she sticks with the electric guitar and continues with 4H and raises pigs.

 

Hilarious, what a life!

You go girl.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 Lily invited us over for a new year celebration!

She loved on this little boy and gave me a much needed break.

I don't think he is feeling well.

He has been so whiney.

 

Dinner was fabulous, complete with Prime Rib.

Yummy.

There were amazing salads and fruit.

The girls didn't want to leave.

They were having so much fun with Lily's nieces and nephews and the Hancey's children.

They played some rounds of minute to win it.

Hilarious.

Thanks Lily for being a sweet hostess and loving us.

 

 Earlier in the evening Sierra was giggling like crazy because she was making bum prints in the snow.

I loved capturing her laughter.

It reminded me of my new years resolution.

To hug and cuddle my children more.

Especially her.

I don't.

It makes me sad that I don't, but I always justify that I am not a hugger.

I hug and cuddle the youngest, but as my kids get older I just stop.

I realized yesterday after trying to give her a hug after not doing it for so long, it was awkward for her and me.

Feeling that awkwardness, renewed my dedication to change.

I have to change.

It is my only goal for the new year, that is it.

I set a lot of goals last year and did none of them.

This year my only goal is to hug my children more.

 

I can change for my children.

They need to be hugged and told they are loved every day.

I know they do.

I have to do it.

I have been praying to love my children more.

I know that I was inspired.

There will be less yelling and less disrespect and more laughter, if I hug them more.

There will be more love at home, if I hug them more.

I want to hug them when they are mad, or sad, or happy, or hurt.

I want to hug them if they are naughty or good.

I know it will be hard but it will pay great dividends.

Here is to hugging more in the New Year.