SNOWFLAKE

 

 Meet Snowflake, Sierra's chicken. I took the picture below two seconds before I took the picture above. Do you see that chicken just completely loving her back and subdued by her? This girl has a way with animals that indescribable. She loves them heart and soul. They know she loves them. They love her.

 

Isn't she gorgeous? She is growing so beautiful.

 This boys hair is getting blonder and blonder. He is breakin' my heart, he is so independent. He doesn't come to me unless he needs his bum changed or he is hungry. He is my go, go, going boy.

 This kid found this truck at the thrift store. He loves it. It is all he has played with since coming back from there. He tucked it into bed beside him after I put him to sleep and said, "No one touch my truck (really a forklift, but don't tell him that), or I will punch dou (you)." He was serious too.

Madison and Sierra want scripture bags, so we picked up some fabric from the thrift store to make them. They are going to be fun, so stay tuned. All of you two peeps that follow this blog. I love that when I tell people that I blog, their first reply is, "Do people still blog?" Yes, yes they do, but only really cool people.

ONE SUMMER DAY WE FLEW TRASH BAG INSTEAD OF KITES!

 I noticed this perfect Ashton handprint on my column in my home. I still haven't washed it off. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

 A few of my tomato plants are thriving a few aren't, I wonder what makes the difference. Same soil, same seeds, and same watering routine. It's a mystery. I am going to figure this gardening thing out. Promise.

The White's came over to play and the wind was blowing so hard we wished we had kites. Then Nattalie suggested that we fly trash bags instead. She said she had a lot of fun doing that as a kid. I pulled out some string and old trash bags and sure enough I don't think they would have been happier if I had gone and bought them all kites. They giggled and played and ran.

SPRING GARDEN

Ashton wanted to dip his chicken biscuit cracker into James' milk.

 Well, we did it. It was no easy task. Ashton wants to kill himself every time we go outside lately, so I can't take an eye off of him for a second. Today he ate ashes, chicken poop, and dirt. Poured my glass of water into the dirt then filled it with dirt. Then sat in it. I bathed him in the sink and laid him on the couch with his bottle. His brother and him where out in two seconds. I didn't mind because I had to finish this garden and the best time to finish is when these two boys are napping. Madison stuck by my side the whole time and helped me do the entire garden. Nate built me some beautiful garden boxes but I planted a week late and they say that garden boxes heat up faster than the earth. I planted them behind my tree to help out too maybe the shade will help it last long. I love peas, so I am praying for the best. We will see how it all goes. It isn't anything like I planned but hey, it's done and all my babies are alive. 

Nate is off rafting and fishing with Sierra. They don't plan to be back until late. Excited to hear about their adventure, maybe we will do a Sierra minute if she agrees.

SUNSHINE

Yesterday, we worked all day in the hot sun. I quit at three but Nate kept going till dark. I brought the boys in and bathed them. They were covered in soot and dirt. They both feel asleep and gave me enough time to take a long shower and wash my hair. The little things!

FIRE

 This is happening right now. We had an old tree we had to take down. There were a lot of crazy branches and stumps. Nate decided to burn them. I decided the burning called for marshmallows. Everyone is out roasting marshmallows for breakfast. It is 8:45 am.

Yesterday the boys helped me clear this section of land. I was stacking longs from the said tree and Ashton picked up this perfect little log and carried it over to the pile and stacked it. I loved that at one he was helping me. It made me smile all day. James was walking around and said, "Come on Buddy," to Ashton and that made my day. It's the little things. Love my two boys. 

ANOTHER MORNING

Yesterday, Nate didn't leave until later in the morning. He burned some more of our property before he departed. He came in for a minute and we had a discussion about our finances and our future. We have come a long way. We use to argue a lot about money and the way we should utilize it. I am grateful that I don't feel massive anxiety and I don't yell or get angry when we talk about money now. I have prayed and fasted and prayed and I have turned it over to my Father-in-Heaven and allowed Him to teach us both, instead of trying to force my will. (I am not perfect at it, but I am trying.) Nate has made a lot of decisions that have been wiser than mine and I haven't given him enough credit for that. I am grateful that I can now see, what once I couldn't.

 

I got to play with these little boys some more. I can't wait till it is a bit warmer and we can play outside. The wind is so cold here on our Loma farm. It blows so hard and it blows right through you. Aren't they the handsomest things ever. I love them both so much. Their personalities are so opposite it is ridiculous. Yesterday our neighbors dog was barking ferociously at us while I was pulling weeds. Ashton decided to go across the street and pet it. It brought out the mother bear in me and I ran and scooped him up, but two seconds later he was trying to love that man-eating dog again. My friend Jenn took Ashton over to the sandbox to distract him. Thank you Jenn. James would have run arms outstretched to me if he had that beast after him.

 

The girls got home and they were starving. I don't know why my girls are starving every day. I had dinner on the table by five o'clock because they were so hungry and in break-down mode.

 

I got to go and teach a final discussion to a nine year old little girl, with the sisters. She will be baptized on Saturday. I love that they lowered the missionary age. I think it has encouraged so many sisters to serve. They are beautiful and pure and they love the church and they radiate goodness. I feel blessed to get to spend time with them a few times a week. Did I tell you Nate and I are ward missionaries? I am so grateful that I have been set apart to be a missionary. I know this work is so vital especially in a day when there is so much darkness on the earth, I am grateful to be apart of the growing light.

KICKBALL

Yesterday, Jenn and I coached our children in kickball. We are going to do it every Wednesday. When they get bored we will coach T-Ball and then Soccer. The kids love it. James doesn't want to kick the ball once he wants to kick it down the field a hundred time. None of kids have a good hard kick, but they will learn. They love to pitch and play outfield while Jenn and I kick the ball.

 

Madison modeled for me during the golden hour. It was so windy we didn't get much and the reflector was on the gold side and turned her jacket orange, but we will try again when it isn't so windy.

ASHTON LIVED

Yesterday, I finally washed my front windows. I have been wanting to for months, ever since we moved in. We have an amazing view from the front of our house and I have hardly wanted to open the drapes because it reminds me I still haven't washed the windows. Nate bought me a squeegee and I went to town yesterday. it was easier than I expected.

 

I bought a hammock for my birthday and the boys were playing in it while I was washing the windows. I went in the house for a second to put the screens back in the window. I had just pulled up the first screen when James ran in giggling. He said, "Ashton is in the road." I jumped out the window and ran. There are three roads that surround our property. My soul knew it was the wrong road. He was in the middle of the main road where people barrel their vehicles down it at fifty miles an hour. All the gates was latched close when I went in the house but the wind had caught the latch just right and pushed it open. Ashton had escaped. I hit Ashton seconds before a large truck came speeding down the hill. I hugged him. I brought him inside and buckled him in his high chair. I gave him a snack and shook for a good hour. I almost lost my baby.

 

I am so grateful James came in to tell me instead of going after his brother, which surly would have pushed him further into the road. I am so grateful I knew to run. I am so grateful Ashton nor the truck were two seconds faster. Life could be very different today than it was yesterday but we woke up the same as every other day and got the girls off to school and then the boys and I played for an hour on the floor. I listen to my baby giggle and then I tucked him into bed. He is napping now and I can hear him breathing and I am so grateful.

 

I have been reflecting on why we have scary moments like this...

 

Empathy, everyone turns away for a second, no one can or should stare at their babies all day every day. We are just blessed that in our moments nothing tragic happened.

Gratitude, to know every day we spend together is a gift.

Faith, we come to know that our Father-in-Heaven is in charge. Ashton is alive because it wasn't his time to go home. I am grateful. I hope that just as I know their were several miracles that saved him yesterday, that those same miracles could have taken him from me, so I too need to trust my Heavenly Father if I ever have to face such a day.

 

But today I am just grateful to hold my baby for one more day. 

THEIR BEDROOM

 I love their bedroom. It is my favorite place. I love that they are all together. I love that they love to be all together. They wouldn't have it any other way. I thought it would be hard to put them all to sleep in the same room but I just pace out their bedtimes and it has worked perfectly. It looks a lot smaller in pictures than in real life. Their room is the perfect size for all of them. We love our little house.

 

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 37! I think this is the happiest year I have ever had. I am so happy it scares me. My life isn't perfect but it is beautiful. I love all of it.

 

I had jury duty yesterday. I didn't get the opportunity to sit in the jury box. I was dismissed and didn't even get close to going up before the whole selection processes was over. I was so disappointed in the American judicial system. There were points that were emphasized over and over again in the court room that offended my spirit. They were as follows...

 

1. Can you remove your morals from your decision? You can't use your own moral standings to judge the situation. You can only judge the situation based on the written law.

 

2. Can you remove your life experience from the decision? You can't use your life experience to judge the situation. You can only judge the situation based on the written law.

 

3. If there are twenty pieces of evidence presented and nineteen of those pieces are perfectly accusatory but the twentieth doesn't align; for example, the plaintiff says a car was blue when it was actually green, then is he innocent or guilty? He is innocent, because you haven't proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

 

I was hoping for a chance to speak but I didn't get to. I wanted to stand and say, if you want me to judge this man not using any of my life experience or morals, then why do you call a jury in the first place? Place computers in this box and input the evidence, and have it spit forth an answer. What does the word reasonable doubt actually mean? I think it is reasonable to convict a man, if nineteen out of twenty points can be proven. I think that is perfectly reasonable. I think a reasonable doubt would mean you could only prove nine out of twenty points or even maybe eleven, but the color of a car isn't a valid point.

 

I was so geared up I was let down when I couldn't voice my opinion about the American judicial system and the misinterpretation of constitutional law. No wonder we have so much crime in America!

 

But why does it matter what the jury decides? The judge will ultimately make the decision on the punishment. He can be lenient with a guilty man if he chooses.

 

Afterwards I went and grabbed lunch and took it to my friend Jenn, who babysat my kids, and on the way I stopped off at my friend (L)'s house and talked to her about the Bible and its Chronology and who wrote what and why. She was so sweet and said, "I went to Catholic school growing up and you have taught me more in two minutes than I learned the whole time I was there." The spirit was so warm and full in her home as we continued to talk about Baptism and Eternal Marriage. She wept ans said, "I want to be married to (S) for eternity." I told her she could be. I love her and am so blessed to watch her journey to find truth.

 

Nate put together my garden boxes and filled them with dirt for my birthday. It was so sweet of him. Sierra made me a chocolate pie and even put candles in it and sang to me. She was so sweet.

 

 Chocolate pie on his face!

Ashton is still sleeping in his pack and play because he doesn't like his bed yet. He took his pants off and threw them out of the pack and play. I guess he is more comfortable without them.

BEAUTIFUL LIFE

 

 

Our little world has been on fire this week. We have been burning and pulling weed all over our property. I have felt invigorated and tired each day as I have fallen into bed with sore muscles and a lifted soul. There is nothing like touching the earth to make you feel happy and whole. I feel so blessed to have stewardship over this little piece of heaven. I love my home and my land and aside from crooked floors, I don't have any desire to have it one ounce different and yet even the crooked floors are growing on me.

 

Nate and I have been called to be ward (ward is another name for congregation) missionaries for our ward. I went out with the sister missionaries twice this week and Nate once. I was traveling home from a meeting with the sister and someone who wanted to know more about the gospel of Jesus Christ and I thought I am grateful for the path I have walked but I wish I could take all the wisdom I have gained over the years and go back with it to when I was nineteen and then serve. I could make a really good missionary. The spirit said to my soul, "Heavenly Father feels the same and that is why you have been called to be a missionary." I love this work. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and I know that "the word has a more powerful effect" on people than anything else. I know spreading the gospel right now is the most important thing we can be doing. I love that I get to be apart of that.

 

My friend Leslie came over today and we enjoyed a bowl of curry together and naan bread. She left with a hug and the words, "my body and soul have both been feed today, thank you." I felt the same way. With this added stewardship has come a yearning to know more. I have been studying the Old Testament and what a beautiful book it is. How have I neglected its pages for so long?

 

HAPPY SUNDAY

President J. Reuben Clark Jr. in 1953 said, "I believe that in his justice and mercy [God] will give us the maximum reward for our acts, give us all that he can give, and in the reverse, I believe that he will impose upon us the minimum penalty which it is possible for him to impose." This is my favorite thought this week.

I have been reflecting on how merciful the Savior is.

I love 2 Nephi 2:11 where we read..

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility. 

This is also Newton's third law of physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

We live in a world that is growing in wickedness you can see that just by pulling up the news. We also live in a world that is growing righteousness and majesty and glory. That light is not diminished by the dark it is magnified in the dark. We live in such a glorious time. I am grateful I have been blessed to bask in so much light. The scriptures and the words of Latter Day Prophets and Apostles are so accessible. There are people who are righteous and are doing their best to increase the light within themselves and others. What a remarkable and blessed time we live in.