REMEMBERING 04.04.09

This is a day that is etched on a the granite blocks of my mind. I remember everything about this date two years ago. I was carrying in the groceries from my car. I lived on the 19th floor of a high rise. The door man was helping me in. He said, with sad eyes, "you know there were three police officers killed today in Stanton Heights. I bet that young kid was one of them." I looked at him. He back peddled, "Well, it could have been him."

I had become best friends with Shandra, she lived on the same floor as me and we had kids the same age. It was like living in the dorms. Shandra would come down in her pajamas with her coffee in hand. I would greet her in my pajamas and we would make pancakes. We would laugh and talk for hours. Her husband was a police officer.

I didn't know what the door man was talking about. I ran upstairs and googled the news. It said three police officers were killed in Stanton Heights. (I had moved from that neighborhood a year earlier.) I called Shandra. She answered the phone. I asked, "Is Stephen okay?" She said, "I don't know? I am at he police station. They won't tell me anything. I will call you when I find out." Her voice was shaking.

I knew her husband was one of the officers killed. I started to cry. Nate told me not to assume the worse. I started to dry heave. I knew. Her sister called a few hours later and confirmed what I already knew. I left the kids with Nate and went to the store I had to go see her and I didn't want to show up empty handed. I didn't know what to say. It was the longest drive of my life. I walked into the front door. Her family filled her home along with people from her church. I gave her a hug and his family a hug. We cried.

During this great time of need, one of the greatest acts of service came from the police department. They kept a nightly vigil and watched the house for a week or so. She said she was filled with a lot of comfort just knowing they were there. At three in the morning, when she couldn't sleep, she would walk out and there would be someone there to talk to. I think it was healing for her and for her guarding angels.

I wish I was there to give her hug again today and tell her that I know Stephen is in Heaven and he is always watching over her and the girls. I believe in heaven and angels and the ministering of angels to bind up wounded hearts. I couldn't be there today. I and the girls made bread for our local police officers. It was ackward. I walked in and couldn't even get out the reason why I was handing them bread. Luckily, I included a note.

I usually don't write posts this personal. I just want people to remember the sacrifice Stephen made on this day but more importantly the sacrifice Shandra makes every single day. Love you girl.