ANDRUD, ISN'T HE HANDSOME?

I am grateful Joy shared her son with me on Friday. Sometime I feel we need a little man's influence in our home. Sierra can get most children to follow her lead but Andrew will tell her, "No, that isn't a good idea." She was trying to get him to chew her ABC gum. He said, "No." I don't know why she thought it was a good idea. I am grateful he told her it wasn't.

When he arrived at our house he said, "We live in a house not a hotel." I have been laughing about that for days.

Joy was setting up for Enrichment. She did such a fabulous job. Amazing. The room was so serene and beautiful.


Don't you think they make a cute couple? I am not apposed to matchmaking. Joy? She's a fireball, but he is a keeper.

1 HOUR OUTSIDE EACH DAY

It was a beautiful clear day. I thought it was going to be 72 degrees like the day before. I told Sierra we could go for a bike ride around the reservoir. Sierra was so excited. She hiked her bike up the long stairway to the reservoir.



She loves to look at the water as she rides. Occasionally she stops and climbs onto the rails and looks over at the water. As you can see the sides of the reservoir are slanted. If she went over in the freezing water, I have no idea how I would rescue her. I have to throw around bizzar punishments that will keep her off the rail like, when we are half around the reservoir, I will say, "Sierra don't you climb up on the rail or I am going to take you home." Truth be told we are already headed home. Even if I turned her around it would be the same distance home.



Madison, isn't she sweet. I love that she obeys and doesn't try to climb the rail.



Sierra sitting next to a brick building on our way home. Don't you just want to squeeze her?



Sierra ready to skewer MJ with a stick. I liked the picture. I thought that it was cute despite the evident danger.

3 YEAR PROJECT NOT QUITE COMPLETE

After two and a half years, I finally have the face of my hand stitched quilt completed.

A really good friend, Celeste McClure, invited me to take a class out in Bever County the first year I moved here. I was so grateful for that invitation and the hand of friendship. Her invitation blessed me in incalculable ways. When we first moved here we bought a standard. I had never learned how to drive a standard. I had to learn on the winding, hilly, roads of Pittsburgh; an adventure I don't want to repeat. She gave me an opportunity to get out of the house and out of the city and drive through the beautiful landscape of Pennsylvania. A much needed reprieve.

I will never forget the ladies from the class. They were all so kind. I often had to attend with Sierra in tote. Maxine, the lady who taught the class, always made sure Sierra had toys to play with.

I really hate the colors and patterns I chose. I think the quilt is way too busy. However, I love every memory tied up in this quilt. I think because of that it will always have a place in my heart.

I am done with the face. I am going to cheat and send it to my sister Michelle to stipple it and then maybe my mother will bind it. Hopefully, that won't take another three years.

ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH

Sierra loves to see her baby sister laugh. She will do anything to get her to laugh or to get her to keep laughing. She has done some pretty crazy things. If you noticed on both the clips I have to stop the filming to prevent a disaster from insuing.

Yesterday, I took MJ and CC to the zoo. CC insisted on bringing her baby doll and stroller. I allowed her to because then she wouldn't be constantly grabbing at MJ's stroller and trying to push her. (Sierra tries to run and push her as fast as she can and then let go of the stroller. Her Grandpa Craven did this with her in the grocery cart in Utah. It made her laugh, so she thinks it will make MJ laugh. I have had to overt disaster there too. I can no longer allow her to push MJ.) She would push her baby doll as hard as she could and then run after her, laughing the whole time. She said it was what her Grandpa did and it was so funny. Then she asked again if she could push MJ. I told her no. She said, "Mom I like your baby better than my baby." I said, "Why is that?" She said, "Because MJ is growing bigger and bigger but my baby doll isn't."

Later that day she says, "Mom, I am sorry." I responded, "Why are you sorry?" She said, "Because I keep growing bigger and bigger." (She should be. I miss my little baby. However, I am loving my little girl.)

MY BOLD DAUGHTER

Yesterday, Sierra, Madison, and I climbed on the elevator to exit the building and head to church. Nate had gone on ahead to warm up the car. One of our neighbors climbed on the elevator with us. Sierra said, "Where are you going?" He replied, "Out... I am going to the store." She said, "Why aren't you going to church?" He said, "Well, sometimes people do other things." She said, "Today is Sunday. On Sunday you go to church." He was gracious and smiled a broad smile, "Young lady I think I have been thoroughly put in my place." I thought first of apologising for her boldness but then thought better of it and replied, "She normal isn't this bold."

3 DECADES OLD

Sierra opened the candle box to place the candles on the cake and said, "Mom, you get to have the yellow one. I want you to have the yellow one because there is only one pink one left." Sierra was so excited she blew out the candle and exclaimed, "I got my wish"

Well, I have been obsessed about becoming a better cook. I have always lothed making dinner. Ask me to bake bread or a cake and I am there. Ask me to make dinner and I am afraid I would bow out. I hate cooking the same thing every week. I have tried experiementing but it is hard to find a new recipe you want to put effort into for fear of it not working out. I found this website called americastestkitchen.com. I love there food. They take every day recipes and make them backwards and forwards until they come up with the perfect outcome. Then they teach you how to make it. I am hooked. I bought myself an online membership for my birthday and a couple of cooking gadgets. I figure I am going to be doing this 3 times a day for 365 days of the year so I better get to the point were I don't loathe it.

If you have any cheap, easy, fabulous, simple ingredient, dinners that you love, send them my way. I would love to test them out.

HATING DAYLIGHT SAVINGS

Daylight savings has thrown off MJ's napping schedule and both my girls bedtime routines. I have finally resigned to just putting them to bed an hour later and pushing everything I use to do forward an hour. I don't think a mother invented day light savings. Because of daylight savings, for the last week, every time I have put MJ down for a nap she pops her head up and starts smiling and talking. I can't resist, I have to scoop her back up into my arms and take her back out into the family room and play with her some more. She has gotten out of a lot of naps lately. I have put my foot down the last two days because despite how cute she is, she really needs her rest. She is finally back on a good schedule.

TEMPLES

I love being in the temple and feel as Elder Holland does that I am close to heaven when I am in the temple. I am grateful for my faith. I am grateful for amazingly kind friends who accept, support and love me and members of my faith despite our differences.

MJ THE BEAUTIFUL

MJ. Isn't she beautiful? She is growing so quickly. She is so much fun. I love this little outfit my friend Joy gave her at my baby shower. Her color is definitely pink. Is it okay that I am obsessed with how beautiful my children are? (We did good Nate! Love your guts!)

CANDID PICTURES OF MJ AND MOM TAKEN BY SIERRA

Sierra insisted on taking pictures for the blog. I thought, why not. It isn't every day that I get to have a picture of me featured on my blog. When I try, the angle seems to distort my face and make me look like I am walking through a fun house. Sierra did a good job.

HYUN JUNG BABY SHOWER

Well, I love this idea and I think we should all adopt the tradition of a Korean Baby Shower. In Korea when a women has a baby it is perfectly acceptable to go through your child's belongs and pick out the best of what they have out grown; clean it, press it, and make it look new. Then wrap it and present it to the mother to be. In America for some reason it has to be new to be socially acceptable. Well, last night I, with the help of several great friends, threw Hyun Jung a baby shower Korean style. There were a few people that insisted on bringing something new, which was great. Then there were others who brought used items, which was great. There were others still who made something new out of used items, which was amazing. We had a fabulous turn out. Hyun Jung said, "I felt so loved."

I went through some of Madison and Sierra's gender neutral clothes and cleaned and pressed them. Then I made her two receiving blankets out of two pieces of flannel. I took the blankets, and bibs my sister gave me that I was never going to soil because they were too expensive, and made a diaper cake. The diapers came from diapers our children had outgrown. (You hate it when your daughter graduates to the next diaper level without using all the diapers in the last package you purchased. Well, here's a way to put those to use.) Atrena contributed the most diapers. It was a joint effort. I thought it turned out so cute. I made a lemon layer cake. It was a little tart but good. I thought it looked cute on the table.

Well, I am now boring myself. I will close by saying, I think I will never throw another American baby shower again.

CHILDREN's GAMES

Oh, the cleaver games Sierra comes up with for us to play. I thought I would be a really good mom and try to create a project for Sierra, like the type of projects my friend Shelly engages her daughter in. I got all the crayons out and spread them across the table. I drew a design on the paper and tried to show Sierra how to; color in the spaces, scribble in black crayon over top, and then etch out a design. Sierra decided this wasn't exciting enough. She decided it would be a better idea if I would join her in racing crayons across the table by blowing them. Pretty funny. We had a good time.

NATHAN MCKNIGHT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

(Nate doesn't let me take his picture unless he is holding a really great catch. I took this picture last summer of him and CC after he caught a really big fish from Lake Erie.) Nate is a private person and asked me not to blog about him. A request I detest because he really is very funny. I think my reading public would double in a few weeks if I could blog about the man I love. I just wanted to say I love his guts. Even though you can't get to know him though my blog he really is an amazing person. I couldn't have married a better husband or given my children a better father. LOVE YOU BABE.

MY GIRLS

I don't know of two sisters have ever loved each other more than these girls. Sierra is in her bedroom playing while Madison is napping. She just wanted to be near Madison. Madison went down for her nap twice as quick just because she could hear Sierra's voice as she fell asleep. (I had better pictures of them loving each other but I really loved this one. Sierra sometimes loves MJ more than she wants.)

RANDOMNESS FROM THE WEEK

Sierra wore her scrubs all day on Wednesday. She loves them. When she puts them on she feels like she is a doctor, so now we have two doctors in the family. I made the scrubs from fabric my Aunt Suzanna gave me, two thanksgivings ago. She would be proud. Sierra adored the fabric from the moment she set eyes on it because it has ladybugs and butterflies.


I got my wedding ring on my ring finger again. Yes! I haven't been able to wear it since before my second trimester of pregnancy with Madison. I am happy to be wearing it again. My hand has felt naked for the last nine months.



This is a picture of Sierra catching fairies in her bedroom. For those of you who don't know Sierra has three fairy friends that are always with her; Fairy Mischievous, Fairy Tinker Bell and Utah, strawberry, grandma fairy. Fairy Mischievous, who is her favorite, does all sorts of naughty things. She turns little boys' coats from blue to pink and she makes people bump their bums by sprinkling fairy dust on the slide and making it extra slippery. Fairy Tinker Bell will make the naughty things Fairy Mischievous does right once the victim cries. The next time you talk to her ask her about her fairies. She will talk forever, especially if you gasp in horror repeatedly at the things Fairy Mischievous does.

A MESSAGE EVERYONE SHOULD HEAR

I needed to hear this message today. I was really uplifted by Elder Uchtdorf words, the images of this clip, and the music. The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints produces so many beautiful pieces of media. I love Elder Uchtdorf and know he is an apostle of God. One of the twelve apostles of are day. I know we are all children of God. I know if all women everywhere could feel his words and believe them we could change the world.

BURNT

Yesterday morning I put Sierra's hair in pony tails to go to my friend Bethany Wilde's birthday party. I was in a hurry to gather everything together as I headed out the door. My mind must have been on other things. Sierra turned the curling iron up to its highest setting. Yes, I smelt something burning. I didn't know what is was. I just placed the curling iron clap down on Sierra's hair. The curling iron got stuck on her hair. I unclasped it and looked at her hair. There were particles of singed couch stuck all over her pony tail. I looked back at the couch and this is what I saw. Luckily, we only paid 2,000 for this one. Phew. (No really, I told Nate luckily all our furniture is crappy stuff we have bought third hand or has been given to us, so I don't feel bad when stuff like this happens.)


Well, here is the worst of the day. Last night I was so excited about making Nate a delicious meal. I made him this divine sweet pork brisket. I sat the pot on the stove top and was removing chunks of meat from the pot. I grabbed on the handle to steady it and walla. I burnt three fingers on my left hand. (Thankfully my left.) Madison wasn't doing well last night so I was holding her in my left hand. I was bouncing her and singing "Old McDonald." I had my hand in a cup of ice. Fingers spread wide so the cup was dangling but staying where I needed it to. Then I was rolling tortilla's out with my right hand. I was determined this small set back wasn't going ruin my awesome dinner. However, once the brisket and tortillas were done I quit. My hand was hurting. Madison was screaming. Mediocre once again became good enough.

FAIRIES

Sierra said this evening, "Don't worry mom. If I get scared, the fairies will protect me. If the fairies get scared, then I will tell them that there is no such things as monsters."

Last night she was having a hard time staying in bed. I said, "Sierra, if you get out of bed again I will spank your bum." She smarted back, "If you be naughty to me, my faires will spank your bum!" Luckily I was in another room, so she couldn't see me smile. As seriously as I could, I said, "I am not afraid of your fairies." She said, "You should be because they spank very, very hard!" Extremely disrespectful but very funny.

KISSING WARS

Sierra has been very frustrated because she feels MJ has been receiving far more kisses than she has. She felt the need to bring the topic up again yesterday as we were in the kitchen making supper together. Indigently she said "Mom, why does MJ get all the kisses? When I say, give me more kisses stop kissing MJ. You just laugh at me." I started to giggle. "Moommmm! Ahhh. Why are you laughing." I replied, "Because I think it is silly that you are so jealous of my kisses." She insisted, "Ahhh! Mom kiss me." It is less fun to kiss a child that is demanding it but I complied.

ANOTHER DAY

Madison loves the bath tub as much or more than Sierra did. She kicks and plays and gets so excited. Sierra can't resist her enthusiasm and has to join in. Within seconds of me putting Madison in the tub Sierra is undressed and by her side.


Sierra is obsessed with cooking. She loves to help me in the kitchen. The other day in my frustration I steered her out of the kitchen. She protested, "But mom, I am your helper." Last night she was eager to help me cut up the mushrooms. I hate watching her use a knife. She insisted she wouldn't cut herself. I had to look the other way. As you can see, she did a great job.


I have always felt bad that Sierra doesn't have a mother that can think of fun projects for her to do during the day. Today, Sierra created a project for me. She had us make butterflies out of our crackers and carrot sticks.

Notice she is in her PJs at noon. Sierra thinks PJs are at home attire. Even when I spend a lot of time getting her ready for the day within the hour she is back in her PJs.




MJ, MJ, MJ. What can I say. I love her guts. I just want to kiss her all over all day long. Her favorite thing to do is just sit in my lap and watch her surroundings. I love her little open-mouth baby kisses. Yesterday, I swear, she tilted her head and gave me her usual open-mouth kiss on my check without a prompt. She is so adorable.

VANILLA

Is it awful that I think this is so funny? Sierra has always had a perfect vocabulary and almost from the time she started to talk could pronounce most any word. I was stopped once by a speech pathologist at the store when she was two and the women was astounded by her vocabulary. She loves to talk just like her mother.

The other day I asked her if she wanted to get some vanilla ice cream at the store and she couldn't say the word vanilla, which surprised me. I also found it humorous. When I got home I overheard her practicing the word over and over again. I grabbed the camera and tried to help her out. A little self-serving but it was just so humorous.

MJ, THE OPERA STAR!

Well, when MJ was born she couldn't talk.(Obviously :) ) She hardly cried. Sierra was in a phase of watching 'The Little Mermaid' at least once a day. One day she inquired, "Mom why doesn't MJ have a voice?" I said, "Because she is a baby." She demanded, "No, Mom it is because Brooklynn stole her voice." (Brooklynn, Shandra's three year old daughter. Her sworn enemy, at the time. I think they started fighting in the pool last summer. Each insisted they were the only three year old that every was. The war raged on through the fall. At the time of this comment, I believe the battle peaked. Since then they have conceded there may in fact be more than one three year old on the planet.) For weeks after Sierra's initial comment she would often inquire, "Mom, why did Brooklynn steal Madison's voice?" No matter how I tried to dissuade the theory I couldn't convince her.

The other day Madison started talking just like this. Sierra excitedly exclaimed, "Madison has her voice back."


Last night at about 4 o'clock in the morning Madison started talking at the top of her lungs. Sierra yelled, "Ahhhhhh! Madison be quit. Madison, I can't sleep. Madison stop talking. Madison....... Ahhhhhh!" Finally, I went in and got MJ and tried to calm her. I said, "MJ, if you don't shhhh. We are going to throw you away." Sierra fearfully pleaded, "Mom, don't throw her away. She will learn how to go to sleep. She just needs to get big like me."

At 3 1/2 Sierra still wakes up at least once a night. She has slept through the night for at least sixty percent of the time this month. We are making progress. I don't think Sierra's plea convinced me though.

PROPHET

Sierra, during family night last night pulled this picture out. Pointing to the man's bare chest she inquired, "Mom, why is that man showing his prophets?"

We have had family night lesson's on the private sacred parts of our bodies. How we need to be modest. Private? Prophet? I don't mean to be sacrilegious. I thought it was pretty cute.

ELEVATORS ARE MONSTERS

It was a beautiful day today.

Madison was her happy joy filled self. She has discovered her voice lately and screeches at the top of her lungs for hours. Her sister is thrilled that she is communicating. As if she thinks Madison is talking in a different language, she is always asking me to translate. Today I walked into where they were playing together and picked up Madison to take her into give her a bath. Sierra confessed, "I am a naughty girl." I said, "Don't say that, you are a good girl Sierra." "No," she insisted, "I am a naughty girl. I lifted up my bum and I pooped (released gas) in Madison's face." I don't know where she came up with the idea and why she confessed. Children?

For those of you who thought Sierra wasn't afraid of anything. Here is a picture of us in the elevator today. (Sad!)She has been scared to death of elevators since she got stuck in the church elevator for ten minutes alone. She was up in the institute nursery and decided to find her way to me alone. I thought she was up with the ladies in charge that day. The ladies in charge thought she down cooking in the kitchen with me. I heard this scream. She finally figured out how to work the elevator. It stinks for her that we live in a high rise. I guess there is nothing like getting back up on that horse.

After conquering the elevator Sierra and I played a game of tag out on the tennis courts. She rode her bike and I ran. She was laughing her head off. She comes to life in the great outdoors. I have committed to taking her outdoors at least once a day.

HAIR!

My sweet husband knows how much I love my hair. I have given up being obsessive about it since becoming a mom. I use to go to the hair dresser regularly and every few mornings I would spend at least forty-five minutes on my hair. I don't know if it was due to my vanity or the awful frizz in it that takes forever to straighten. Either way, Nate has taken note that I love my hair.

Since coming to dental school I haven't spent the money to go to the hair dresser. Most days are pony tail days and I have become the mother I swore I would never become. Well, I have spent a lot of moments in the last few days complaining about my hair.

On Valentine's Day Nate suggested we go to the Mall and he could watch the girls while I had my hair done. I was a little nervous going to someone I had never been to before but Bou at Reggis did a fabulous job cutting it. I watched him cut it and knew he did a good job. However, he was very opinionated about the cut. I asked him to take a little more off the front and I think he was insulted. He pointed to the picture I had shown him and said, "Look at the picture I am cutting it just like the picture." When he got done styling it he took some gel and pressed my hair flat against my scalp. I said, "I would like a little more body." He again pointed to the picture, "Look at how the hair is. It is sleek against her scalp." I don't think we were looking at the same picture.

Needless to say, I got home and restyled it. I love my new hair cut. Thank you love for being so thoughtful.

CAN I BUY A VOWEL?

Well, Sierra for the longest time everytime she smells something strange says, "That is bowel." I have laughed inside because typically it is said when gas is released in our home. I was wondering where she got the term. The other day on the way back from church there was a strange smell in the car and I said, "Nate, that was foul." Sierra started laughing and said, "That was bowel."

Now I understand.

BARROW, ALASKA, ANYONE? ANYONE? NO?

Nate sent out his application to do an externship this summer with the IHS. His choice of places to extern were in this order Alaska, Montana, and last California. I was surprised by his choices and the order. I don’t know if he gave it that much thought, mostly Nate just shoots-from-the-hip. We have discussed Alaska a lot, of course I knew about California, but he just threw in Montana. Whatever? His externship could have a large bearing on where we end up. After sending out the application, we got this response from a clinic in Barrow, Alaska. I won’t include the whole e-mail. I will just highlight the good parts.

Barrow is a small Inupiaq (Native Alaskan) village of about 5,000 people located on the Arctic Ocean coast in Northern Alaska. To do well in Barrow, you need to be the type of person that enjoys cold weather. I have happily lived in Barrow for the past 10 years and have remembered the phrase 'many are cold, few are frozen' on many cross-country ski trips, ice-cave camping, and during storms where the temps plunge into the -60F range.

There are very limited jobs for spouses/significant others in Barrow outside of our hospital and the local school district. If you have a spouse or sig. other or kids, you need to fully discuss the idea of moving to Barrow with your family/sig.other before applying for our externship. Barrow is a challenging place to live. It gets extremely cold during the winter and the summer temps range from 30F-55F on average. It also snows frequently
on my birthday (July 24th).

If Barrow does sound like an appealing place to live, you are probably like myself and the Staff dentists; a person with a good sense of adventure and someone who is looking to use dentistry to make a difference in people's lives.

Note: A women sent this e-mail. Hilarious!

Well, Nate forwarded the e-mail but he hasn’t said a word about it. I don’t think Barrow was quit the place he had in mind. Fishing poles are probably frozen year round there.

SCHENLEY PARK ICE RINK

Knowing it would be frigid I dressed Sierra in three layers. For the bottom half she had on tights, leggings, jeans, and snow pants. For the top half she had on a long sleeve shirt, short sleeve shirt, jacket, and a coat. Her outfit was completed with a hat, gloves and boots. I dressed myself equally warm. We left the building and walked to the car. As I held her tiny hand she looked up at me wide eyed and said, “Mommy, it is so dark.” (She typically heads to bed when it gets dark and was excited at the prospect of being outdoors at the late hour.) “I know.” I said, “That is because we are having a very special night tonight, just you and I. Isn’t that going to be fun?” A broad smile split her face.

We drove across town, up and down the dark windy streets of Pittsburgh. We arrived at our destination and as I lifted her from the car I became a little apprehensive realizing neither of us had ever been ice skating before. We walked down a sparsely lit path to the rink. The sign over the front desk read ‘cash only’. Oops! I stood there for a minute knowing I only had a debit card on me when Shandra’s bright cheery face came through the doors. Luckily she had extra cash in her car. We went down to wait with Jennifer as she went to go get the cash and pay the fee.

After four tries we finally figured out Sierra’s skate size. We got to the rink and tried our first steps of skating. I was excited to find it was very similar to rollerblading, something I really enjoy. However, Sierra’s attempts reminded me of a phrase in one of her favorite Beatrix Potter stories, ‘slippy-sloppy in the larder.’ She just couldn’t get the balance right. We went back to the desk and exchanged her single blade skates for double blade ones. This was all it took she went from slippy-sloppy to unsteady, booty shaking, skating girl. The rink provided construction cones on wheels to help little kids hold onto something for balance. Sierra didn’t want anything to do with a cone. She lost her balance and bumped her tushie a few times but she didn’t care she was determined to do it on her own. As her mother I was enthralled watching her, it was like watching her learn to walk, scary but thrilling.

SIERRA's REALIZATION

I thought it was really sweet today when Sierra got this huge grin on her face and said, "Mom, Madison is going to grow big like me and then we can be friends like Jennifer and Brooklynn." Then she gave me a huge hug.

POTTY TALK

Today...

CC: Mom come and wipe me!
Mom: CC why are you sitting on the toliet backwards?
CC: Cause Mom that's the way Daddy does it!

(Note: I guess when she peeks into the bathroom and only sees her Dad's backside, she thinks he is using the potty backwards.)


A while ago...

(Note: Issac one of her little boy friends came over with his family to play. Sierra runs into the kitchen wide eyed.)

CC: Mom! Issac is peeing out his belly button.

(Note: I guess when you come from a family of all girls the male anatomy is a mystery.)

PITTSBURGH STEELERS WON!!!

When Nate flew out to Pittsburgh to interview for dental school the Steelers won the SuperBowl. I think it was then that we caught the Steeler fever. Pittsburgh is the Steelers. Everyone who lives here owns a jersey and Steeler paraphernalia is always in style. When there were three minutes remaining in the last quarter we were all sitting on the edge of the couch. When a pass slipped through that dudes (yeah, I am a die hard fan) fingers we all gulped oxygen but the Steeler did it. They pulled it off. What a game for Mike Tomilin! He use to be a high school coach and now he is head coach for the Steelers. I am glad he has a Superbowl win under his belt. If you want to talk Cinderella stories, let's talk about Mike Tomilin, Derek and Jennifer, not the Cardinals (traders). I can't even tell you what it was like at a Super Bowl party in a Steelers Nation. We are glad we went to a party close to home because now there are 110 streets closed in Pittsburgh because people are pouring into the streets in an after game celebration that resembles rioting with people tipping over cars and starting fires. Nate was just chuckling at the chaos featured on the news. Lovin' being a Pittsburgher tonight! GO STEELERS!